bittersweet

My parents say they miss Leah and play the guilt card all the time.

I promised AY we'd go skiing for his birthday this year.

We can't afford to all go home and ski, so here I am.

Its 1.50am, I'm breastfeeding Leah, waiting for our plane to board. Oh and did I mention I'm also bawling my eyes out? Why? Because AY is not with us! :(

I seriously contemplated to go home for a short holiday or for raya but because of money issues, and AY not coming with us, I decided to just pop over in May. There is no way that I'd leave AY during raya. No way. I love my family and all, but AY and Leah is my main family now. We're arriving just in time for my niece's 2nd birthday tomorrow.

And how appropriate is the timing for Leah to get the hang of waving goodbye?

Me. Sad. Very sad.

Why do we keep on doing this to ourselves???

Ps: I think Leah is the only baby on the flight tonight. Please pray that she'll be good. Nervous!!!

*sorry malas nak proofread. Mata bengkak, mind everywhere, arms hurting, she's abt 8kilos now I reckon, if not more.
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